boarding school cliche, and I got asked about it a lot when I went to university, but I don’t know of anyone ever playing it.”

“I don’t think it was ever a thing,” says Cameron - not David Cameron, but rather a man named Cameron, who’s now in his thirties and who spent five years at boarding school. To say someone has played it is essentially to suggest that he is a warped but privileged asshole (think former Prime Minister David Cameron and his dead-pig-fellatio antics at Oxford).īut did it ever even exist in the first place? Is the biscuit resting on a special little table? If one person is holding it, must he stay completely still, or does he port it over to each contestant at the point of arrival and try to stay out of the way? Does everyone in the circle have their own biscuit, resulting in a gift basket of semen-glazed snacks? I reached out to Stephen Fry for the answers to some of these questions, but did not hear back, if you can believe it.ĭespite the game making no practical sense, the concept really lingers, to the point where it’s pretty much become a derogatory shorthand for inbred, affluent types who went to boarding school. Right away, the logistics of the game seem tricky at best. McVitie’s is a large biscuit company, naturally.)

(N.B.: A Wykhamist is a student or alumnus of Winchester School, while a Wholemeal Digestive is not dissimilar to what Americans might call a graham cracker. A new cream filling well in advance of anything McVitie’s have got round to thinking of. The last one to spit his stuff on the biscuit eats it. The players stand around in a circle tossing off onto a Wholemeal Digestive. The somewhat more respectable writer, actor and broadcaster Stephen Fry, the U.K.’s official posh, know-it-all uncle, did reference the game in his 1995 boarding-school-based novel The Liar, and describes the rules thus:Ī Wykhamist friend told me of a pursuit at Winchester called the Biscuit Game. (He also reportedly considered Gimp Disco, Split Dickslit, Bitch Piglet and Blood Fart, which, wow, okay.) Even Fred Durst, who founded and named goonish nü-metal band Limp Bizkit, claims the name was chosen simply to roll off the tongue (like Led Zeppelin) but be memorably odd it didn’t actually have anything to do with the game. It’s not a game that’s been enormously well documented, despite its relative cultural ubiquity. But despite the differences in title, the core components remain the same: a bunch of dudes standing around a biscuit (or cookie, as you would say), jerking off, with the last guy to finish having to eat the newly frosted comestible. Soggy Biscuit is the best-known version in my native Britain, but it’s referred to by various names around the world: Jizzy Jiscuit, Wet Biscuit, Limp Biscuit, Milky Biscuit Ookie Cookie, Kekswichsen in Germany, Soggy Sao in Australia.

It’s an enigma, Soggy Biscuit: a decades-old social meme a word-of-mouth cultural phenomena like the pencils-up-the-nose finals suicide that gets everyone in the exam hall an A a game nobody claims to have played, but plenty are adamant that their friend’s cousin’s friend’s cousin sure did.

Men playing soggy biscuit