She forgets what she’s worth! Send this to every beautiful woman you know. She cries when she’s happy and laughs when she’s afraid. She smiles when she feels like screaming, and she sings when she feels like crying. Beautiful Woman… She can deal with stress and carry heavy burdens. I’m a secondhand vegetarian cow eat grass, I eat cows.” Sometimes, the best revenge is to smile, move on, and do nothing.”įunny Minions Wednesday Images And Quotes If thought bubbles appeared above my head I would be screwed.” Best Friends are like siblings from different parents. Warning! Bitching at me to do things won’t make me do them any faster if anything I’ll take even longer just to piss you the suck off.” No matter how old I get I will always have to sing the ABC’s to figure out what letter comes next.” I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. It’s Friday!! Sorry… Just practicing for tomorrow.” Scientists say the universe is made up of protons, neutrons, and electrons… They forgot to mention morons.” There are 2 kinds of people in this world: 1) Morning people 2) People who want to shoot morning people.” If you see me smiling it’s because I’m thinking of doing something evil or naughty if you see me laughing it’s because I’ve already done it.” Carrots may be good for your eyes… but booze will double your vision.” Police: where is your neighbor’s house? Me: you won’t believe me if I tell you. Police: Where do you all live? Me: Together Police: where is your house? Me: next to my neighbor’s house. Police: where do your parents live? Me: with me. Police: where do u live? Me: with my parents. If you ever want to see me again, send me $1,000 for ransom.” I changed my car horn to sound like gunshots… People get out of the way much faster now.” Being an adult is the dumbest thing I have ever done.” Yeah, I’ve got O.C.D Old cranky and dangerous.” When you cry nobody sees your tears, when you are worried nobody sees your pain, when you are happy nobody sees your smile, but you fart just one time …OMG….” I watch people and wonder how some of them found their way out of the birth canal.” A smile is a sign of joy, a hug is a sign of love, a laugh is a sign of happiness and a friend like me… Well… that’s a sign of good taste.” Whoever said technology will replace paper… has obviously never tried to wipe their ass with an iPad.” When I get all worked up I will shout, piss me off and I’ll knock you out.” If I didn’t eat what mom cooked, I didn’t eat.” My parents didn’t call my cell, they yelled my name. ANGER is that feeling that makes your mouth work faster than your mind.” I think you’re suffering from a lack of vitamin me.” Don’t mess with me: I know karate, judo, Tai Kwon do jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words.” It hurts when someone you love says mean things like “It’s time to wake up”.” One said: “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” the other replied: “I don’t know, I can’t see”.” I wonder how cops on bikes arrest people.

Despicable me minion sayings